These are journals I wrote while I was a member of The Church of Bible Understanding.
The journals are a good record of what it was like to live in COBU from 1990 through 1993, which were my last 4 years there. (I became a member of the Church of Bible Understanding in 1980 when I was 22 years old. I left 14 years later at age 36.)
In these journals I recorded a lot of conversations, meetings and daily life. I was able to write quickly, capturing conversations as they took place because I used a kind of shorthand that I originally developed to write down Stewart Traill’s comments at meetings. (I needed a way to write quickly.) This later proved useful as a way to keep journals where I could write my own thoughts in a way that could not be read by other people. It also had the added benefit of enabling me to write down conversations as they were taking place, because I could write very quickly when using this abbreviated form of writing.
When I read back on these, sometimes I am embarrassed by some of the things I wrote and of what it says about me. There is a passage in John Hersey’s book, The Wall (which I read when I was in COBU) that says:
“The rule I set for myself long ago that I should never destroy anything from this record: the principle value of these jottings for later use will be as a guide to reactions of the moment and I cannot help it if they remind me and embarrass me.”
This was a quote by a character in the book, Noach Levinson. He kept a daily journal during the last days of the Warsaw Ghetto, recording events and conversations and meetings. (It’s through his narrative that the story is told.) When I read these lines, I identified with them and wanted to do the same thing with my journals. Or rather, to continue doing it, because I was already keeping my own journals. I sometimes felt that later I would want to know what I was thinking at the time and that there might be some use for this journal keeping later.
To read any of the entries, click on the links on the right side of this page. They’re arranged in order, from 1990 through 1993.
There are also some other pages that would be good to read, which are on my COBU Essays page. The three most important are these, which can be read by clicking on the links:
Stewart Traill’s Message to Jim LaRue.
My Exit Statement, or, Why I Desire to Leave The Church of Bible Understanding.
Breaking Silence to My Family About What Life Was Really Like in COBU.
